Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
