The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize