Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
