i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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