We're like a lot better than the average bears
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize