so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize