is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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