Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize