did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
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