That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
