I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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