I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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