Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize