I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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