I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
