Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I can't turn off my feet"
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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