ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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