please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
