I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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