I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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