bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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