Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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