Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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