haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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