How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
