O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
