I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
