Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
