I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
