Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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