whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
