Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I'm always down for nudity.
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