I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
