Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
We left the knife in your bed.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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