dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
where am i from again
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
