How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
