Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
