why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
