It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Randomize
