he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
