I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize