Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Randomize