we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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