I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I'm sobbing to NWA
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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