If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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