so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Panties = found
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
