you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
