ya dads aren't the best wingmen
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize