Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize