Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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