After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
