he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
