I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Randomize
