D3 body, D1 cock
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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