We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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