big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize