its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
