My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I could fuck to npr.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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