everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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