I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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