There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
