Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize