Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
