He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
