Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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