I'm lost and stupid without you.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
