I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
