the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I have already put on my inside pants.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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